Friday, July 10, 2009

A Note From Me: Trust Yourself

As you may have noticed, I have not been writing on my blog as much as usual lately. If you've read my migraine story, in another post, you know I have been plagued with muscle pain in my back for a long time. I am a violinist, so this is normal. And migraine symptoms sometimes compound this a bit, making it so I have to seek the help of a talented physical therapist. However, my muscle pain has been much worse than usual lately, so I finally developed the courage to visit my general practitioner this week. After an ultrasound he determined that I have two complications in my abdominal area, both relating to my pregnancy three years ago, that have to be taken care of surgically. Most of my pain is not actually muscular at all, even though it felt that way. I am in quite a bit of pain, although non of it compares to migraine, but sitting in front of a computer for extended periods of time is uncomfortable. I write as little as possible. My point in posting this is not to gain your sympathy, but to tell you why I am not posting, and for another reason. I realize that migraine plagued my life for so long, and now that I'm free of it, it's hard for me to let it go. Not that I don't want to, believe me. And not that I don't want to let the pain go, that's not what I mean. I'm not really in migraine pain any more, except for once in a blue moon. I owe that to Dr. Buchholz's book and my wonderful team of doctors. What I mean is that it didn't even cross my mind that there may be something else going on. I just figured everything was fine and my problem was migraine as usual. Most people don't suffer from chronic pain, and when they do have severe pain, they go to a doctor, the doctor finds the problem, and it is taken care of. As migraine sufferers, we are used to being seen as whiners, and we are used to walking out of a doctor's office with no cure. So when something else happens to our body, we may not recognize it, and even worse, are afraid to say anything. I am still, to this day, afraid to meet a new doctor or specialist of any kind. The first thing I have to tell them is that I am a migraine sufferer, and everything that goes along with that. Many times they have no sympathy and little education on the subject. Why would I want to share? I am blessed to have a team of wonderful doctors around me now though. I hope none of them move to a new city. I wish all of you complete health and well being, and lots of faith and courage. I'll check in every once in awhile, and I still try to tweet something every day. Best wishes, Heidi.

*If you still have not read Dr. Buchholz's book, you are missing out. Please do so. You will feel much, much better. It is not "the same old stuff" that you have heard before.*


  1. I am sorry for your pain. I also get frustrated with doctors who don't seem to know what is wrong. Best wishes with your surgeries.

  2. Is your pain related to the pregnancy itself or to the c-section? I hope you get some relief soon Heidi.

  3. Thanks to both of you. One problem is related to the c-section, and one to the pregnancy itself. I will have one surgery to correct both problems and hopefully be done with the pain. I am actually quite relieved though. I was wondering why my back pain wasn't any better, and now I know. Thanks to both of you for your kind words.

    Morgan, I'll call you soon. Sorry it's been awhile. :)